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Dita von Teese Eurovision 2009 Germany Oscar Loya

Dita von Teese

READ DITA’S TWITTER MESSAGES FROM EUROVISION

Burlesque star Dita von Teese has confirmed that she will appear on stage with Germany’s Oscar Loya and Alex Christensen to play the title role in the duo’s entry Miss Kiss Kiss Bang.

Speaking to German tabloid BILD, Dita (Miss Teese if you’re nasty) said she had one goal for the performance: “I hope that our collaboration will win!” (Click here to see if Oscar Loya is Eurovision’s Next Top Male Model)

I was more than a bit annoyed when I read in the same tabloid that Germany “has fared badly at Eurovision because of the arrival of lots of Eastern European countries who won’t give them any points.” Those Eastern European countries may not be giving you points, but it’s not because your performers are German: it’s because your performers suck.

One need look no further than this year’s entry, which is currently the oddsmaker’s favorite to finish last at 7/2; France, a distant second, is at 10 (translation: Germany really sucks).

That article also makes the offensive claim that Dita will help Germany’s cause because, “the stripper dancer is popular in Eastern Europe.” Okay, (1) “stripper dancer” is redundant—a stripper is a dancer (2) strippers are popular everywhere, stupid! (3) Oscar Loya looks like a greasy gigolo in the official video (below). Don’t throw stones in glass houses!

The German broadcaster NDR went on a limb this year and chose its representative in a closed-door process instead of letting the public vote. Last year’s entry from No Angels was a total disaster, so I understand why they don’t want the German public to choose anymore. But what a shame they ended up with this secondhand throwback to 1920s swing. (Click here to read about Germany’s performance during the Eurovision final.)

I'm gorgeous. Who cares if I can't sing?

I'm gorgeous. Who cares if I can't sing?

Here is Germany’s 2008 entry. Two words: shrieking cats. The title is Disappear. We were all glad when they did. . .

Watch all of the Eurovision 2010 contestants here on Wiwi’s Video Player!

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